End the Harassment

It is amazing how we have evolved so much and remain so archaic in our behavior.  In 2017 we still have people (mostly men) who think it is OK to violate personal space.  Both in and out of the workplace alike, people are subjected to glares, words and physical contact that just doesn’t have to happen.  It is a choice, a conscious choice, made by a person, to intentionally disturb another person.  I apologize, I have no idea why people do this, and I will never understand why anyone would think that it’s OK, but I do know that not everyone does it, so it isn’t “normal” human behavior at all.  I have discussed this topic at length recently with quite a few people both men and women, and I have to say the women I spoke to for the most part are exhausted by this epidemic.  As a man, it was very disheartening to hear the stories of the abuse that most men only seem to care about when it involves the women in their lives.  I don’t know how to solves this dilemma, but I do have some ideas about where we can start to change this behavior in the workplace.

When you interview for a position when it is your turn to ask questions take that opportunity to ask about the culture and include a question about the sexual harassment policy.  Ask them if they feel safe, even ask them to assign a letter grade to their environment.  Read their body language when they respond.  If they appear unusually uncomfortable or try to give you a really short answer and ask if you have any additional questions, take that as a red flag.  Do the same thing if you interview with Human Resources since that is in their wheelhouse, and they would be aware of that kind of reported behavior on a company-wide scale.  The import thing is to get as much information about the company as you can while you are in the decision-making process should they offer you a position.

During your orientation, there should be some sort of harassment training as a part of the on-board process.  If it’s a group discussion make sure you ask questions about how often these are reported.  Who the best person to report an incident if you don’t feel comfortable telling your manager or if it is your manager, do you need documentation, do you need witnesses, etc..  Make sure you are crystal clear on all of the policies and procedures as it pertains to sexual harassment in your workplace.  If your company does this via instructional video make sure you ask HR any questions you may have after viewing.  What is considered harassing behavior?  How much behavior do you have to endure before you report it?  What can you do to ensure there is no retaliation if you report someone?  Once you have a solid understanding, you are better equipped to handle the situation should you be unfortunate enough to fall into one.

I am a firm believer that adults are free to choose whatever they want to wear to work as long as it falls within the company guidelines for dress code.  I am also a firm believer that there are 9,429 different definitions of the term “business casual” and that is for each company to define and enforce.  All that being said, there is nothing you can wear that gives another person the right to harass you sexually.  That is a behavior of choice, and if a person is going to do it, I’m guessing it has nothing to do with what you are wearing.  When you spend 8-9 hours a day with the same group of people, over time professional relationships can turn into friendships and then personal relationships.  That is just the nature of the workplace, and most companies have rules around how personal relationships can be formed in the workplace.  There can be a slightly grey area when one person wants a relationship to move past professional, and they believe the other person wants the same thing, so they take their shot.  Hopefully, if the other person doesn’t want the same thing the situation can be resolved no harm no foul.  Once someone says “no” to something that has nothing to do with work, that has to be accepted.  Trying to change someone’s mind is harassment, plain and simple.  Taking your shot is always a risk, especially in the workplace, but if you miss the game is over.  Do yourself and the other person a favor and move on with your life.

Leaders.  Stop it with your direct reports.  Just stop it.  Nothing buries a leader quicker than one trying to foster a personal relationship with a direct report.  Even if your direct report has similar feelings for you don’t do it.  Plus, it should be somewhere in your company guidelines.  You have the most important role in all of this, so you need to make sure all appropriate boundaries are in place.

Leaders.  CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!  We owe the people who work for us a safe workplace.  It is a very important part of the job, and we are clearly dropping the ball.  Every employee should feel comfortable bringing this kind of behavior to our attention, and every single incident should be taken seriously and addressed accordingly.  No one should have to go to work and suffer in silence.  This culture of victim blaming & shaming has to stop immediately.  How can we possibly be taken seriously if we are not accountable for the environment we are charged with leading?  Employee morale is down nationwide, and only 37% of employees trust their manager, that should be enough of a wake-up call.  What is currently happening in Hollywood hopefully will find its way into every other work environment, and you don’t want to find yourself on the wrong side of this behavior as a leader.  There are parts of every job that we don’t like doing, this cannot be one of them.

If you find yourself being harassed in the workplace, please report it.  Document what happened with all the information you can: date/time/who did it/who was there/what was done/how you responded and keep a copy for your records.  When you report it ask for clarity on the process and what you should expect as resolution if it’s not offered.  Try to remain as professional as possible when it happens and while your incident is being investigated and processed.  If you can avoid engaging with the other person do so as much as you can.  Even if you feel like nothing will change – report it.  If you feel like you are being victim blamed or shamed – document the incident in its entirety (harassment and the resolution) and then start looking for another place to work.  If you work for a company that doesn’t take this kind of thing seriously enough, it’s best not to waste any more time working there.  In the meantime, you can file a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), and they will take you through their process of filing a claim.  If you are a federal employee, the process is different, but that information is on the website as well.  The important thing is to report the incident and remain professional while you are still working at your job and try to find a better place to work.  You deserve better!

It is unfortunate that we have not yet evolved past this behavior as a species.  We can do so much better if we want to but it starts with us.  When we see bad behavior of any kind make sure we let people know that it is not acceptable.  Don’t participate in behavior at work that you know is wrong and don’t turn your head when you see it happen in front of you.  Every company is charged with providing a safe workplace for its employees and have rules and paid leaders to facilitate the workplace environment.  With your help and participation, everyone can go to work and focus on the actual work without worrying about any of the extracurricular. 

Build Your Network

Network building is essential in furthering your career both internally and externally.  Being really good at your job is a great start, having a solid network can be the difference between getting a new position and being passed over.  A professional network is a social network focused solely on business interactions and relationships rather than including personal, non-business interactions.  The most important person in your network is you.  The best way to build your network is to make yourself someone worth networking with.  Be good at your job.  Be a good teammate.  Work well in collaborative groups outside your immediate team and department.  All of those activities will make it much easier for you to network in your office.  Once you have established or reestablished your professional reputation in the office you are now ready to expand your network.

Are friends and relatives automatically in your network?

Yes!  How active they are in your network depends on you.  Talk to them about where you are professionally and where you would like to go.  They are your biggest fans and will be your best advocates so the more they know about you and what you are capable of the better equipped they are to introduce you professionally in their circles. 

Where can you network?

Networking events can be tricky.  It can be a challenge especially if you aren’t an extrovert to successfully network at an event.  That being said, they are worth the effort and if you decide to attend one bring plenty of business cards.  If you don’t have any employer provided feel free to make your own, you can get 500 for around $10 plus shipping.  The best way and most effective way to network is through an introduction from a friend.  Dinner parties, holiday gatherings and socials provide an ideal setting to meet and remember people you are adding to your network.  Working a room full of strangers at a club happy hour or lounge at a networking event may not appeal to you but an event at someone’s home could be a much better fit.  

How do I use my network?

Who you know professionally can either be a gift or a curse for your career.  Knowing or not knowing the right people can cost you thousands of dollars so the key is to again make sure you yourself are network worthy and that you are taking advantage of both planned and unplanned networking opportunities.  When you are looking to move into another position at your current employer it can help you connect with the hiring manager yourself or through someone who has their ear.  You can find out when positions are coming before they are open for application if your network is strong enough and you can use it to gain insight into the position and what the hiring manager is looking for in the role.  Outside your job you can let people in your network know you are looking to make a change.  There are several email templates online that you can use to make the announcement and tips on how to reach out to your network most effectively.  LinkedIn is an effective tool to use to manage your network.  It allows you to connect with people you have worked with and gone to school with in a professional way.

Hold Yourself Up

We’re facing a lot of challenges in 2017.  The world is becoming more and more dangerous with each passing day it seems.  The earth is retaliating against its most destructive inhabitant.  Politicians are talking but not leading.  Racism is rearing its head at every turn.  Unemployment and job dissatisfaction adding to the daily frustrations life throws at us.  Through all of this, we have to remember something very important.  Something very personal and done on an individual basis even if we are married or in a relationship with someone else.  Hold yourself up.  Love yourself completely and fully.  Not only for what you are today and what you have accomplished but also what you can and what you are striving to become.  Holding yourself up will allow you to help those around you, especially those who need you.  Do whatever you do to remain positive, confident and powerful.  Make it a habit to have everything you need to keep yourself up and ready to take on whatever life has in store for you, because you never know when things will turn left and then it is too late.  do to get started.   Treat yourself as well as you possibly can with more experiences and fewer things.  Treat your body and mind like your most cherished possessions, because they are.  Drink lots of water.  Eat something for breakfast every day.  Whatever uplifts your spirit: practice it as much as you can.  Forgive those who need forgiving and apologize when you know you should.  All the excess baggage you can get off your shoulders do it as soon as you possibly can.  You will be so glad you did, and it will allow you to move forward and leave the past behind you. 

You are strong enough to handle anything, even on your worst, most trying day, as long as you constantly hold yourself up.  Doing kind things for others (including strangers), driving without road rage, spending quality time with the people you love are all things you can do to keep the positive energy flowing!  Spend as much time as you can doing the things that make you happy, it will help you get through all of the swirl going on around us every day.  Hold yourself up.

Preparing for the Workforce

The American dream has always included the “go to college and further your education” statement as part of the blueprint for as long as I remember.  We are told a college education is the key to living a prosperous life, and whether we believe that or not, there is one thing for certain, and that is not everyone is destined for college.  So what about them?  What do we do about the group of people who are going to enter the workforce with a high school diploma and compete with experienced adults for jobs?  If you or a loved one falls into this category, the answer is simple: preparation.  Once our students have finished their formal education, we MUST prepare them to enter the workforce regardless of the position they are trying to land.  If they are applying for an office position they will need a resume, the question is what does someone put on a resume with no paid work experience?  Hiring managers will take a look at any candidate who can demonstrate on paper that they are capable of filling their open position.  Someone with no previous work experience can demonstrate that using the right words and provide good sound examples.  “Enthusiastic”  “Quick learner”  “Team player”  “Take initiative”  “Proactive” will always grab attention and they can use any and all experiences to fit the bill.  Experience with Microsoft Office (especially Excel) is a plus, involvement in high school activities (Yearbook committee/sports teams/drama club) community organizations (Boy/Girl Scouts, mentorship programs) religious activities (church groups/choirs/ushers) can all be used on a first resume.  Once you have decided on the content and found a template you like, make sure you have someone proofread the finished draft before you submit it.  Nothing will get your resume ignored faster than a bunch of typos and bad grammar.  Having a practice interview can also go a long way in getting through the first job interview without crashing.  Everyone is nervous but if you have done it before you have an idea what to expect.  Sit them down and take them through it as best you can.  If you don’t feel comfortable, find someone who is so that it is meaningful.  Make sure they are dressed properly for the job they are applying for and when in doubt overdo it.  It is always better to be overdressed than underdressed, and it may be one of the things that separate them from the other candidates.  Pass them the interview tips from the Volume 1 DEES newsletter, if you don’t have your email copy they can see it for free on the www.DEJumpStart.com website blog or the dejumpstart.blogspot.com blog site.  There are a variety of websites that provide sample resumes for people with no work history, and if you email customerservice@DEJumpStart.com, we will send you one free of charge that you can customize.  If they need help getting through a phone screen from HR, you can emailcustomerservice@DEJumpStart.com, and we will set up a prep session so they can advance in the process to the hiring manager interview. 

Once they have landed the job, getting through the probationary period is the next step to securing and maintaining employment.  Because there are some similarities to high school, it can be easy to fall into some of the workplace traps in those first three months of employment that can be prevented with the right preparation.  Falling in with the wrong work clique is the quickest way to falling out of favor with the person who just hired you.  Most people aren’t open about their disciplinary situation at work so coming in late, leaving early, not taking lunches/breaks on time, inappropriate dress, being unprofessional are all things that may not seem so bad if it appears to be a group of co-workers getting away with it.  Coach them to stay away from that negative energy.  Nothing good ever comes from negativity, and if you can’t demonstrate the ability to handle the simplest levels of professionalism like showing up on time dressed properly for work, there is no need to wait and see if it gets better after probation because it normally never does.  Let them know there will be people who will label them for being good at their job and for being a good professional but the more positivity they demonstrate the further they will go on the job and in life.  Do your best, don’t be afraid to ask questions, be friendly enough and always be a team player even if you think others on the team are not and you will get through the probationary period and establish yourself as an employee who should be valued.

Sending our young adult loved ones out to “get a job” has to come with more than just that order.  If we want them to succeed both short and long term we have to invest the time and resources to help them.  Providing them with the tools and guidance to separate themselves from the other candidates will give them the necessary confidence to overcome the nerves and successfully navigate the interview experience.

Tolerance & Love

In light of recent events, I think it’s important to remember the value of tolerance & love.  Every single person that has ever lived is different.  There are of course people with similar interests but ultimately we are all very much individually different.  With that in mind, we have to find a way to peacefully cohabitate on this planet.  The earth is just a big rock, some think it’s flat and others think it’s round.  At some point, imaginary lines or boundaries were drawn to separate people.  Within those imaginary line sections, people added value to the inhabitants of some sections and removed value from others.  Should there be a zombie apocalypse there will be no distinctions made by the zombies, they will eat all of us the same.  I’m sure the only difference in taste will be a result of the individual's diet and not their skin color, zip code, the language they speak, the religion they practice or their sexual preference.  Just because you disagree with something doesn’t mean you are right, it never has and it never will.  We are all in a similar struggle to make sense of life and its purpose, continuing to use our differences to self-inflate should not be the answer.  Self-love is the first and most important step for all of us to gain a level of tolerance that will end what we see on a daily basis.  The internet sess pool is slowly but surely creeping into reality as more and more people are allowing the virtual confusion to impact their real life actions.  When you love yourself enough, the differences in others doesn’t affect you so negatively.  You achieve a sense of self that makes tolerance very easy.  When you love yourself enough it also makes it very easy to love others even if they don’t share your same beliefs and preferences.  Love is positive energy, when you apply it to yourself you make it very easy to apply to others.  Anything positive is worth your time and your energy and those are your two most valuable assets.  Nothing positive can be accomplished through negativity. 

Love yourself as much as you possibly can.  Feed your mind a good diet.  Feed your body a good diet.  Feed your spirit a good diet.  Spend as much time as you can doing the things that make you happy with the people that you love.  The more your day is filled with these things the less time you have for the things that don’t appear on this list.  When you encounter someone who is different from you engage them in a way that is positive and productive.  Be the good person you are, don’t worry about how others will perceive you especially since they are the one traveling in negative space wasting their time and energy.  Be their positive example to follow, if you want the world to be a better place it starts with you.  

Perseverance

Definition of perseverance

:  continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition:  the action or condition or an instance of persevering

There really is no substitute for perseverance.  If you have a goal, it will require the definition above to be successful unless it is something you can already achieve without much effort and then it shouldn’t be a goal.  There are so many traps and roadblocks in front of you when you set out to accomplish something of substance.  People you care about will tell you that you should focus on being like everyone else.  They will tell you how dumb your goal is and why it won’t work.  They will literally take the time and devote the thought resources to map out your failure and then deliver it to you under the pretense of helping you.  If you reject their map they will commit even more resources to strengthen their argument.  This will increase your level of frustration and make the job a little tougher for you but you cannot let someone influence you with their fear of failure.  Surround yourself with positivity as best you can and don’t lose focus.  It will be tough sometimes because you will have doubts as you navigate through the rough patches and the voices you hear will be from the people you care about telling you to stop and not do it.  Their fear of failure will be resonating through your mind and it’s a natural thing, we’re all human.  What you cannot do is let it consume you.  You cannot let it guide you.  You cannot let it prevent you from achieving your goal.  As long as you prepare, do your absolute best and follow through you will get the best possible outcome and that is the real goal.  Others will try and define your success using their rules, but you will have your own and that is the one that truly matters.  Block out the noise as best you can, focus on your plan, work toward your goals and push through all the road blocks.  Know that if it was going to be easy it would never be a goal in the first place and with the right attitude, plan, and grit you can achieve just about anything.  Start the business, get the degree/certification, drop the weight, do whatever it is that you have been considering.  It will be worth it and you will be so happy you did.  There are going to be people who will support you despite the naysayers and that will give you the boost you will need to get through the trying times.  They will help you refocus and recalibrate when you need it.  That person you see in your daydreams accomplishing all of those great things, that is you.  The person you are overcoming everything in your dreams at night, that is you.  Give yourself the opportunity to be great and you will be surprised how much you accomplish.    

Layoff Survival 101

Getting laid off can be a very traumatic experience, especially for the first time.  If you find yourself in these circumstances here are some tips to help you successfully navigate through this time in your life.  It’s very important to let it sink in once you are notified.  Give yourself a day or two (at the most) to let the reality set in and then begin to take control of the situation.

Step One: Use Your Health Benefits

Most companies are at least kind enough to do this on the first day of the month, giving you at least 30 days to make as many medical appointments as you can during that time.  It is important to take full advantage of this time.  Make that appointment, even if it’s just for a physical.  Get your prescriptions filled, especially your maintenance drugs if you can.  Buy the glasses, get the teeth cleaned, do any and everything you can in those 30 days before you have to get benefits on your own should you still be unemployed after the 30 days are over. 

Step Two: Secure Your Finances

Apply for unemployment benefits immediately.  If your HR department is worth a penny they will provide you with everything you need to expedite the process but you can do everything online.  Decide what you want to do about your 401K.  You should receive paperwork from HR on how to move it, cash it out or keep it so explore the options and do what’s best for you.  Now that you have time, this is a good opportunity to make sure all of your personal filing and accounting is in order.

Step Three: Exercise Your Mind

Use this time to take a class.  You will be so happy that you used the time productively and it’s an opportunity to add more skills to your tool belt.  If you can’t afford to pay for one there are resources available that you can take advantage of for free.  Whether it’s in a class, online or in a book, the point is to stay sharp and be productive!

Step Four: Exercise Your Body

Now you have absolutely no excuse.  None.  Get up and get out.  Take a run or a walk but do something to get you moving.  Besides making you feel better it will be a good habit you can carry into your new routine once you find a new job.

Step Five: Apply for Jobs

Obviously but the key is to be strategic.  Limit yourself to five applications per day and here’s why.  Most applications that aren’t quick apply take a good 30-45 minutes to fill out completely and that is exactly what you should do: fill them out completely.  This will also prevent you from getting burned out, which can lead to frustration and depression so make sure you pace yourself and fill out each application fully and to the best of your ability.

Make sure you find things to fill your day.  You can make a list of things the night before of the things you want to accomplish and even set calendar appointments to make sure you are getting everything done that you need.  The most important thing is to give yourself something to do besides look for work.  It can be incredibly frustrating because finding a job does take time, and if that is all you are focused on it will begin to grind on you.  By pacing yourself you are putting your best effort into the job applications and that is extremely important.  

Workplace Superstar!

Have you ever wondered how some people are always respected and relied upon in the workplace?  Have you and some co-workers discussed the possibility of a fellow co-worker being a brown noser?  Do you find yourself trying to figure out how you can best position yourself in the workplace to maximize the relationship as much as possible?  If you answered yes to any of the above questions here are a few tips to help you swing the pendulum in your favor.

1.                    Always do your best.  Everywhere.  Just like your muscles this is something that only improves the more that you do it.  You will be very surprised how easy it becomes the more you focus on doing your very best.  When you put forth your best effort a few things happen.  You feel a complete sense of satisfaction because there is nothing else you can do.  It is usually very easy to recognize and appreciate your effort even if they don’t acknowledge it.  The trick is not to think about how the company benefits because they are already reaping the benefits of your talent for an agreed upon sum of money.  Think about how much better it makes you and how it will allow you to transfer that great habit into your personal and spiritual relationships.  Doing your best will also either make you really stand out in a sea of mediocrity in the office or it will inspire other to step their game up to keep up with you.  Either way it is a win for you.  Just make sure you are being completely honest with yourself about what your best is, that is the only way this will work for you.

2.                 Don’t take anything personally at work.  Ever.  It is a 100% waste of energy and time.  Even if you feel like it was a personal attack.  Ignore it.  Always take the high road and never let anyone discourage you from being the great person you are.  If you feel like your ideas aren’t being considered, don’t stop sharing them!  If you feel like your feedback isn’t being taken seriously, don’t stop sharing it!  If you feel like you can add more and you want to expand your role to use/sharpen skills - ask!  And don’t stop asking!  If someone doesn’t like you or they are choosing to use their position to hold you back you are your biggest and best advocate.  Whatever you do, keep it professional, don’t take it personally and do NOT let it stop you from getting where you are trying to go.  Being negative has never ever yielded any positive results!

3.                  Be accountable.  Anyone can be great when things are going well.  Be great when things are terrible.  If something is your fault just own it, learn from it and never repeat it.  Finger-pointing and excuse making will never get you where you want to go.  It’s easily identifiable behavior and nobody likes it including you so don’t do it.  Trust your greatness.  Trust that doing your best is good enough.  If you tell someone you are going to do something, make sure you do it.  If you aren’t able to complete it at the agreed upon time let them know as soon as you know you can’t meet the deadline.  Honesty is also a key ingredient in accountability, sprinkle it generously everywhere!

Real decision makers reward those who demonstrate all of these qualities and characteristics.  Every now and then you will run into a situation where none of the above applies and those you have to deal with but you can position yourself in the best possible light by keeping those three things in mind as you go about your daily work routine.  

Make the Change

Fear of change has been haunting us since birth.  It doesn’t matter if we really like our current circumstances or not, the fear of the unknown has held people back from doing things different since the beginning of time.  Familiarity provides a blanket of comfort, even if it’s old, musty and scratchy we know what to expect from it.  We are very aware of exactly how it will make us feel and Change is folded up in a new box.  We can read the name of it on the outside.  We usually know what it will cost us and what it is made of but what we don’t know is how it will make us feel.  If it will be any better or worse than the blanket we already have. 

So how do we win?  I remember going to the pool for the first time with my family and my father picking me up and throwing me in the water.  I didn’t like it.  Fear and anxiety literally swirling around me.  But then I realized something.  My feet were on the bottom of the pool and I was standing up.  And there were other kids playing and having fun.  And some of them were swimming.  And they were all about my age.  At that point I realized not only was there nothing for me to be afraid of but I could actually enjoy this a lot more than watching from the side.  My dad didn’t ask me if I wanted to go in.  He didn’t try to convince me that it would be fun and I would learn to love swimming.  He just picked me up and threw me in.  The easiest way to get through change is to face it head on.  Very cliché of course but the less time you spend dwelling on every possible outcome the more time you give yourself to adapt and adjust.  You are awesome, and you will make the best of the situation.  You know this is true because your past is littered with proof and examples.  Depending out what the change is centered around can make it feel like a daunting task ahead of you and maybe it is.  But the truth is you are capable of accomplishing anything and the first step in adapting to change is embracing it from the very beginning.  When tossed in a pool of water you don’t have much of a choice and sometimes we are literally tossed in with no warning.  The sooner we recover from the initial shock and get our bearings then the sooner we can wrap our arms around it and make the best decisions about how we will thrive in this new environment.  The longer you resist and fight it the longer it will take for you to settle in and thrive.  Embrace it with a positive attitude and you will be in a much better position whether its professionally, personally or spiritually.

Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships are all around us.  We encounter them almost everywhere; whether personally, spiritually or professionally. While you may not be willing or able to change certain aspects of toxic cultures that you are in, your professional environment should not be a place of disdain, and can easily be changed if you choose to do so.  If not addressed properly those added stress levels caused by your poisonous workplace issues it has the potential to spiral out of control and the overall resentment you have being in that type of situation can and will spill over to other aspects of your life. However, the best way to make a change is to BEGIN.  Begin to make positive steps towards getting out of toxicity of your professional environment and find something that’s more conducive to your overall level of professional standards.  The first step is to recognize and acknowledge that you are working within a toxic and hostile workplace.  What do I mean by a toxic workplace? A “toxic workplace” can be defined by a workplace that is marred by significant drama, issues and infighting, where professional battles often hinder and sometimes even halt overall productivity. A toxic workplace can ultimately cause a negative impact to the feasibility of an organization, which will ultimately cause additional stress, displeasure and dissatisfaction for you. Some signs that this may be your environment:

• Afraid to share your ideas because of public embarrassment
• Your manager never listens to you
• You are never appreciated for your hard work
• Others are rewarded for poor behavior
• Constant unwanted advances are not prohibited
• You have been lied to by management
• Your compensation is not closely aligned with your production
• The workplace is fiercely competitive
• The workplace is very inefficient/disjointed
• Your manager uses emotional manipulation

 Once the acknowledgement is made, the second step is taking the steps necessary to find a better working atmosphere.  Keep in mind, sometimes finding a better atmosphere can be much more than benefits, or more money (don’t get me wrong…those are very beneficial especially for your overall professional and financial goals).  Your ultimate goal should be ensuring peace of mind, sustainable and encouraging employment order.   

The third step is to start looking and stop waiting for the perfect job to fall in your lap. Now if you’re anything like me you have a life and there are other things you rather be doing or other obligations and priorities that you have that takes up more time in the day then you have. We make excuses why we don’t pursue something better; I don’t want to spend more time in front of a computer after 8 hours at work and my bad commute home, I need to cook dinner and take care of my family when I get home, I am tired after work and the gym, I need to update my resume first… However, positive changes starts with you and your ability to take the necessary steps to change to fix what is broken in your career.

Eight hours a day is a really long time to endure that kind of environment, unfortunately so many people are trapped in a toxic work environment because of things like health benefits, favorable commute and tenure but the usual culprit is fear.  Fear of the unknown keeps people anchored in these toxic relationships and for most management who engage in this behavior they bank on that fear.  It’s the whole “devil you know vs the devil you don’t” that keeps people in this situation year after year.  The bottom line is we usually wait until it’s severely painful before we start taking action and there is no real reason to wait.  Everyone has something or someone in their job they don’t like; the loud overbearing cubical neighbor, the lunch thief, the cologne/perfume abuser could all disappear and everyone would be happy but they aren’t toxic.  Neither are the team whiner, the meetings that should really just be emails, the “everything is urgent” person are all people that we don’t like but they are not reasons to pack up and leave for another job because let’s face it you will find these are found in most jobs. Toxic relationships are a form of emotional abuse and even though you are being paid for the time that is no reason to endure them.   With most abusive situations recognition is essential, so if this seems like this is your situation don’t you feel that it’s time to make a change?  The time is now…let’s BEGIN.